


My speed, My lane, Your pace

by Yutakillmeplease



Series: KPOP Oneshots [3]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cute Seo Changbin, Eating Disorders, Fluff, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is Whipped, Lee Felix (Stray Kids) is a Sweetheart, M/M, Only implied though - Freeform, Sexual Abuse, Shy Seo Changbin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-29 22:16:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17816522
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yutakillmeplease/pseuds/Yutakillmeplease
Summary: But first, let me go on my wayI’ll deal with the worries at the next crossroadsUntil then, stop looking next to youDon’t forget, my speed, my lane, my pace(Changbin and Felix are best friends. Felix is completely head over heels in love with Changbin but said best friend is already in a relationship. Felix doesn't like his boyfriend but can't say anything without revealing his true feelings)





	My speed, My lane, Your pace

**Author's Note:**

> There is very explicit content in this work. Those who are sensitive to violence and the mention of issues such as rape, eating disorders and domestic violence, I'd recommend clicking off of this work before it's too late

Felix sighed loudly, alerting the rest of his friends of his frustration. He had received yet another message from Changbin telling him that he couldn't join them for lunch. 

 

 

**From: Binnie 💖**

 

**_sorry lix, doyoon asked me to have lunch with him again_ **

**_maybe tomorrow_ **

 

The last time Changbin actually spent the whole of lunch with him was three weeks ago; he always had an excuse not to hang out with him. At first Felix had thought that Changbin had started to hate him, trying to distance himself from Felix without hurting him because he was just that nice but then he realised that it probably had something to do with his menace of a boyfriend. Felix scrunched his nose at the thought of him and just put his phone in his pocket, not bothering to reply. 

" **What's up Felix? Bin not coming again today?"** Woojin asked, knowing how much he valued his time with his best friend. 

**"Yeah, he hasn't eaten with us in three weeks now and hasn't visited my dorm in over a month."**

**"That boyfriend of his really is overprotective huh."**

**"He's an asshole, that's what he is."**

Felix yet again sighed, feeling defeated. He set his head down on the table, letting Chan's fingers run through his hair to comfort him. He had never like Doyoon and despised the idea of Changbin dating him. At first he thought it was due to jealousy however he soon came to realise that it was just Doyoon's ugly personality and the fact that he had stolen Changbin from him. He spent most of his time keeping Changbin to himself and making sure to stop him from seeing Felix. It really pissed him off and made Felix wanna kill the guy but he couldn't, he was Changbin's boyfriend after all. 

Despite being Changbin's boyfriend, Felix didn't think he really acted like a boyfriend. He didn't show any outright affection and the couple of times Felix had heard him talk to Changbin it didn't seem very pleasant. Bin had tried to tell him that they were merely going through a rough patch in their relationship but he couldn't believe him. The light behind Changbin's eyes started to dim down after a couple of months of dating the guy, and now it was barely visible. His eyes only sparkled in certain conditions and he seemed as if he had been robbed of life. Felix never felt easy around him, always trying to find out what had happened to make him so miserable.

He knew it had something to do with Doyoon but he couldn't quite work things out.

 **"Guys I'm gonna go back to my dorm, I need a nap,"** Felix exhaled, feeling loneliness wash over him.

 **"Alright, I'll bring the lecture notes over to you later so you don't miss out on anything important,"** Jisung replied, sympathy clear in his usually cheerful voice. 

Felix just pat his shoulder in thanks, taking his bag and making his way back to his dorm room, ready to cry himself to sleep. 

 

 

 

 

It was about three hours later when Felix woke up to a knock on his door, the only person he had been expecting was Jisung but he wouldn't be there for at least another two hours so he was more than confused. He opened his eyes in difficulty, they felt dry from all the crying he had been doing, and groggily sat up. He trudged his way to the door, not caring what he looked like and what he was wearing. He opened the door to find a devastated Changbin, crying, bruised and out of breath. 

 **"Binnie, what's wrong?"**  he opened his door wider, beckoning him to come in,  **"Come in, you need to sit down."**

After making his best friend a cup of his favourite Chrysanthemum green tea, Felix sat beside him on the couch, pressing their thighs together. 

**"Do you wanna tell me what's wrong?"**

Changbin closed his eyes, wiping his tears and wondering whether he should tell his best friend or not. He had been suffering for far too long and felt bad about not telling Felix. Felix who was his best friend, who was the only one who stuck by him when he came out as gay, who defended him from the bullies at school and took him in when he was kicked out by his parents. Felix who had helped him enroll in the same university as him, who had walked him to each and every class for the first six months, who trusted him with his secrets and made sure to protect and constantly worried about him and his well-being.

Felix who had been his first crush and first love, who had been so easy to fall in love with and who was impossible to fall out of love with. Felix who was the sole reason Changbin had said yes to Doyoon, he had tried to get over Felix and he believed this was the way to do it. Changbin had contained his suffering and frustration, hid the bruises and pain from all his friends. Had let Doyoon and the friends he brought over have their way with him. He did it all for Felix and he didn't know if he could suddenly just tell him what had been happening for months now. 

 

 

_The first time Doyoon had hit him wasn't that bad if he was being honest. He had hit him across the back for being disrespectful and not answering his messages whilst he was with Felix. Immediately after he had apologised, promised it wouldn't happen again and even rubbed cream on the redness of his back. Changbin had forgiven him easily, thinking...hoping that it wouldn't happen again. But life really wasn't that easy, especially when it happened again a mere week later; this time it was because he had stayed out late and worried Doyoon._

_The hits became more frequent and got worse as time went along. Bruises started to appear and it got to the point where Changbin was spending a little too much money on concealer. He had tried to fight back once, defend himself, but it got worse from that moment. Changbin remembered one instance when it was really bad._

_He had been out all day, it was a Thursday and neither him nor Felix had any lessons to attend. They decided to leave early in the morning and spend the day in the city, not returning until late at night. They agreed to both turn their phones off and just enjoy their time with each other. Those were the moments that Changbin felt truly happy, his feelings for Felix never disappeared and days like that reminded him why he was in love with him in the first place._

_When he had returned he tried quietly sneaking back in, hoping Doyoon wouldn't wake up but to his horror he was already awake and in the front room with two of his friends. He knew he was in trouble from the moment his boyfriend dragged him by the sleeve and into their shared bedroom, shutting the door behind them._

_The first blow came down on his cheek, catching a part of his eye._

_**"Where the fuck were you?"**  Doyoon had asked, aggression clear in his voice_

_**"I was out with Felix."**  he had replied courageously, but that just made it worse. _

_Doyoon pulled off his shoe and whacked him with it, leaving him with a huge purple bruise on his shoulder. He pushed Changbin down onto his knees and kicked him in the stomach._

**_"I. Forbid. You. From. Ever. Seeing. Felix. Again."_ **

_Each word was emphasised with a kick to his stomach or rib cage. Changbin lie helplessly on the floor, feeling his already empty stomach revolt, ready to throw up what was left of the meagre dinner he had eaten about three days ago._

**_"Now pass me your phone."_ **

_**"I don't have it,"**  Changbin had tried, praying that he would just give up and go back to his friends who were laughing obnoxiously outside. _

_A sharp tug on his hair pulled him off of the floor and caused him to wince painfully. Doyoon sneered at him and spat in his face, giving it a harsh slap a moment later._

_**"Don't lie to me baby, I know you have it,"**  he growled sending a warning of shivers up his spine. _

_When Changbin did nothing he slapped him harshly across the face again, loosening his hold on his hair and letting him fall to the floor with a thud._

_**"Fine have it your way, I'll just have to show him who you belong to."**  Was the last thing he said to him before the telltale sound of a belt unbuckling was heard._

_Doyoon pulled down his zipper and shuffled out of his jeans eagerly before picking Changbin up and throwing him over the bed frame. The frame rocked ferociously and dug into the bottom of his stomach as Doyoon rammed into him furiously, grabbing his hips hard enough to leave harsh purple marks. He bit down on his neck and shoulders, leaving a trail of marks over his body and clawed down Changbin's back that was now bare of any clothing, causing him to scream out in pain._

_When Doyoon had finished inside him, he hastily pulled on his trousers and left the room, leaving Changbin completely bare and open, just hanging over the bed frame limply. With the little strength he had left he pulled himself up but was pushed back down by one of Doyoon's friends that he had seen earlier. The guy took hold of his throat and pounded into him, restricting him of his breath and making the bruises on his stomach worsen. He didn't even have the strength to protest due to the lack of food in his system and the previous beatings so he just lied there pathetically letting the guy have his way with him. When the guy had left he pulled himself onto the bed and waited for sleep to wash over him._

_He felt sleepy and dizzy, but that didn't stop the other guy from coming in and literally shoving his dick down Changbin's throat, not giving him a chance to adjust before thrusting harshly and without any consideration. He felt and saw the blood running down his legs and started to feel the rawness in his throat. He knew he was going to pass out at any moment and lose all consciousness but he couldn't do anything about the constant ramming of the dick down the back of his mouth._

_He let himself go and, after feeling the warm liquid shoot down the back of his throat, he succumbed to the temptation of sleep. About an hour later he woke up by hitting his head on the drawer situated next to his bed. Doyoon had returned and pushed him off, probably not wanting his dirtiness on the bed. Changbin, with difficulty, stood up and dragged himself to the bathroom, taking a clean pair of clothes and a towel. He took his time showering, wincing every time the water hit one of his cuts or bruises. He fell asleep on the bathroom floor that night and didn't attend classes for a week, until he had enough physical strength to move around._

 

 

This time was worse though, the beatings didn't stop until he was unconscious. He was bruised all over and cuts littered his body, making it painful to even move. They continued after he woke up and he felt his rib crack, it was probably broken. He was pushed up against the wall and fucked roughly, no prep as usual, causing him to bleed and it was painful for him to walk. He really couldn't deal with this anymore and had to tell someone, even if it was the person who he was in love with and was trying to get over through this relationship. 

Tears started to cascade down his bruised cheeks yet again when he opened his eyes and turned to look at Felix, ready to tell him everything. Felix gently took his face in his small hands and softly wiped away his tears, being mindful of his bruises. Changbin took a deep breath and started to relay his story, telling Felix about everything including how Doyoon tried to forbid him from seeing his best friend. He broke down as he told Felix everything, from the first time he was hit to what brought him there that day. He stuttered his words, and choked up a few times, tears constantly running down his cheeks until he had no tears left to cry. He occasionally took a sip from the tea Felix made as he listened intently, taking in every word and processing them, letting Changbin talk. 

When Changbin was done Felix had immediately stood up, **"I'm sorry that I have to do this, but it's for your own good."**

To say Changbin was confused was an understatement. He allowed Felix to help him stand up and limped slowly out of the room with his assistance. Before he knew it they were downstairs at the entrance of the dorm, sitting on the step. Felix seemed to be furiously typing on his phone, while Bin sat there, not knowing what was going on. After Felix put his phone away they sat in silence, letting the cold seep into their skin and waiting for something which was unknown to Changbin. After a little while of waiting a car pulled up right by them, Woojin stepping out of the passenger side. 

 **"Both of you, hurry and get in,"** He said opening the back door so Felix could pick Changbin up and help him into the car. As soon as they were in and strapped up safely, Chan stepped on the pedal hurriedly, almost speeding down the street. Bin didn't question him, not wanting to speak up about anything. He leaned his head on Felix's shoulder, accidentally drifting off to sleep. 

 

 

Felix gently shook him when the car had stopped. He rubbed his eyes in exhaustion and let his best friend take off his seat belt and help him out of the car. As they stepped outside Changbin realised why Felix had apologised; they stood outside the hospital, Chan and Woojin waiting for them at the entrance. He sighed in defeat and let himself be helped, that't the minimum he could do for his friends. 

He was put in an emergency room and his friends were kicked out whilst they ran a series of tests on him. They hooked him up to a bunch of machines and told him they'd be back in a bit. After they had left his three friends had run in, Felix sitting on the edge of his bed. He picked up Changbin's hand and started playing with his fingers, not wanting to speak and ruin the mood. They all sat there, supervising Changbin and comforting him whilst they waited for the nurse to come back with the results. 

When he returned however, he returned with a police officer at his side.

**"I'm sorry to break this to you, but in your case we had to report this incident to the police, the bruises and cuts we found were seen as causes for concern and the police would like to ask you a few questions."**

Changbin started to panic. If he told the truth he might get beaten up by Doyoon again, but if he lied, he won't ever escape from this awful fate of his. He looked around at his friends panic evident on his face, then at the police officer, then back to Felix.

 **"If it makes it more comfortable for you, your friends can stay while we question you,"** The police officer kindly offered, smiling softly, letting Changbin know she could be trusted. 

Changbin nodded whilst Felix moved to sit next to him in the bed, wrapping an arm around his waist. 

 **"It's okay Binnie, take your time, go at your own pace,"** he whispered softly in his best friends ear as the officer moved to sit in the chair next to Changbin's bed. 

She took out some recording equipment, set it up and pulled a file out of her brief case. Changbin's hands were sweating but Felix refused to unlink them, squeezing tighter every time Bin tried to retract his hand. 

The interview went quickly as Changbin told the officer what he had to Felix earlier on, Chan and Woojin had started crying at some point, not actually knowing what had happened prior. He felt bad for making his friends cry, but he had to explain everything in detail to make things easier for the police. When she left, Felix kissed his forehead and told him that he had done a good job and that he was proud of him for being able to get through it. They sat in the bed for a while just enjoying each others' presence whilst waiting for the test results to see if he had indeed broken his rib.

The nurse came in a little while later, x-ray in hand. He made hand gestures towards it as he explained what had happened; he was lucky it hadn't been broken but he was told to rest for a while, given some painkillers, told to avoid strenuous tasks and was given a cream for the cuts and bruises. He thanked the nurse insistently and, with the help of Felix, limped out to where Chan and Woojin had disappeared for some fresh air. 

 

 

 

A week later, news had spread that Doyoon had been sentenced to life in prison for Sexual assault, violent and domestic abuse and his two friends had been given a sentence of seven years each for sexual assault. Changbin had been given the courage to tell the rest of his friends what had happened, Chan and Woojin by his sides and Felix holding his hand the whole time. He finally felt free, now that he had left Doyoon behind and he could do as he pleased, it was as if all the weight in his body had been lifted and he was a new person. He had sold the expensive apartment that he had owned with Doyoon and arranged with the university to live in the same dorm room as Felix considering he had no roommate. 

His life had been easier from that day, he could enjoy his time with his friends without worrying and focus on his university work. He spent most of his time with Felix and was always spoiling him, buying his small gifts to thank him for both his patience and his help. He wouldn't have been able to do anything without Felix. He might not have even been alive without his best friend, he owed him his life. 

Changbin smiled as he thought about the boy. The boy that stole his heart all those years ago and still managed to make butterflies erupt within him. He didn't realise he had been staring at the boy until Felix had looked at him and smiled causing him to look away bashfully and blush. Woojin noticed from across the room and chuckled lightly at the two idiots, oblivious and in love. It was one of their many movie nights where they all huddled up in Felix and Bin's dorm to marathon a bunch of movies and have a sleepover. Chan and Woojin were curled up on one half of the sofa together with Jisung and Minho on the other half and Changbin and Felix shared the love-seat with Hyunjin, Jeongin and Seungmin cuddling by them on the floor. They were already on the third movie and everyone had already fallen asleep except Felix, Bin, Chan and Woojin. 

Felix woke the three up that were on the floor sending them to his room so they could sleep more comfortably, whilst Changbin woke Jisung and Minho up, telling them to sleep on the love seat so Chan and Woojin could share the sofa. When everyone was situated with blankets and pillows, Changbin took Felix by the hand and led him to his bedroom. They got changed into comfortable clothing and slid into Bin's bed, getting comfortable under the blankets. 

 **"Binnie, I know I say it a lot, but I really am proud of you. I'm so glad you came to me that night and trusted me enough to tell me what was going on. I'm so happy I got you back,"** Felix whispered, gently caressing his cheek as they stared at each other.

 **"I never left you Lix and I will never leave you, not for anyone. I'll always be here, with you,"** Changbin smiled fondly, **"I love you Lix, I've always loved you."**

**"If you loved me, why did you date that monster?"**

**"I was scared you would hate me or feel disgusted if you found out how I felt, so I agreed to date him to try and get over you but he was repulsive and it didn't work at all, because I love you just as much as I did back then maybe even more than I did."**

Felix didn't reply, he just used the hand on Changbin's cheek to pull him in closer, not stopping until their lips were touching. Changbin slowly kissed back, moving his lips slowly and softly against Felix's. He rested his hands on Felix's waist as their lips continued to move against each other gently but passionately. They both put so much love into their first kiss that you'd think that they had been married for years. They broke apart, lips still resting against each other as they caught their breaths back. 

" **I love you too Binnie,"** Felix whispered against his lips and when he looked up into Changbin's eyes he saw what he had been missing for months. The light behind his eyes had returned and they sparkled beautifully in the dimly lit room as they exhaled constant I love you's and kissed softly.


End file.
